I have no idea how much I have lost this month because my scale is a liar. Lol. Seriously though, I don’t normally weigh very often but the dietbet I am doing is almost over so I was curious. Before I got in the shower this morning, it said I gained 10 pounds. Lol. I have messed up but not to that extent. After I got out of the shower it said I had only gained 3 pounds. I’m not worried about it because I don’t actually think I have gained. I will give it a few days and check again and if so, oh well. I am going to keep moving on. I will let you all know what my crazy scale says in a few days. I think it’s weird that I always weigh LESS after a shower. Apparently, I have really light water. Lol
I have learned a lot about myself through this process. In the last week / week and a half, I have noticed that I have been snacking (organic unsalted sunflower seeds) and eating out more than I should be. I did a lot of thinking the last few days to try and get to the bottom of what is going on with me and I really think I am a food addict. I have seen it before but didn’t think it was me. I knew I ate emotionally but thought that was it. Unfortunetely, I feel like I have been making excuses for my snacking and eating in general lately. I have rationalized my “bad” behavior. I would tell myself you need to do what you will be able to live with, and that is true in a sense but I think like an alcoholic you have to give up the bad behavior to survive. I know it’s not as bad as an alcoholic, but we all have problems to work through and this is mine. I obviously can’t stop eating, but I can try and pinpoint my triggers and give them up. That is the only way I will be successful. I know myself well enough to know that this is the only way. My ex was/always will be an alcoholic and he once told me that one day he will be able to have a drink every now and then. I almost fell on the floor. I wanted to tell him he was crazy. That trigger only leads you down a bad road. I have to give up the things that lead me to this place. I will get back to fully clean eating. I won’t want to plan to cheat. I will focus.
I have also paid more attention to my emotional eating. I realized that I may overeat when I’m bored but I binge when I am furious. Not just irritated by something but so angry that it makes me cry. Lol i really hate to cry. This has only happened twice in the last 8 months. Once a few months ago and once last week. It is stupid and now I can’t even remember what I was upset about but I need to find a better outlet. I will be working on both of these issues for the rest of my life but hopefully by doing so I will be healthier.
I think I may make it sound more extreme than it really is, and honestly I haven’t done that bad but I could he doing better and I have done better. Hopefully, I can take what I have learned and overcome these issues. My stubborn self won’t allow me to fail so I pick up and move on. 🙂
I have learned more but those are the biggest things.I’m curious, what have you guys learned about yourself in this process?