Here I go again

I have been away for quite a while now but have not given up on this journey. There have been so many things happen in my life in the last year and a half and my emotional eating has gotten beyond out of hand. I honestly don’t know how to get it in control again. I have been through a job loss due to downsizing, relationship issues, a move several states states away from my home state, engagement, miscarriage, and jobs, and missing home. I have gained so much weight since moving to Tennessee, but my fiance are both working  to lose weight and become healthier. Food though.Ugh! Food is the biggest problem. Its a vicious cycle

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I refuse to quit though. I need and will work through this. I know that I do better when I have community support so here I am. I also joined a dietbet this morning. I am hoping with the support I can get back on track and get my mindset straight. toohard

I’m still here

I have been so busy working and going to school I haven’t had time to read or write on here.  Working out has been a joke also. Luckily my eating has been ok. Have to spend a as much time i can studying since i am competing for one of 11 spots in the program i want to get into. I can only apply once every 15 months and the better I do now the better my chances of getting in will be. If i have any spare time i feel guilty for not studying so that has taken priority at the moment. I am exhausted but I am trying to find the right balance. Well have to get ready for church. Have an awesome and safe Labor day weekend!

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Learning about myself

I have no idea how much I have lost this month because my scale is a liar. Lol. Seriously though, I don’t normally weigh very often but the dietbet I am doing is almost over so I was curious. Before I got in the shower this morning,  it said I gained 10 pounds. Lol. I have messed up but not to that extent. After I got out of the shower it said I had only gained 3 pounds. I’m not worried about it because I don’t actually think I have gained. I will give it a few days and check again and if so, oh well. I am going to keep moving on. I will let you all know what my crazy scale says in a few days. I think it’s weird that I always weigh LESS after a shower. Apparently,  I have really light water. Lol

I have learned a lot about myself through this process.  In the last week / week and a half, I have noticed that I have been snacking (organic unsalted sunflower seeds) and eating out more than I should be. I did a lot of thinking the last few days to try and get to the bottom of what is going on with me and I really think I am a food addict. I have seen it before but didn’t think it was me. I knew I ate emotionally but thought that was it. Unfortunetely, I feel like I have been making excuses for my snacking and eating in general lately. I have rationalized my “bad” behavior. I would tell myself you need to do what you will be able to live with, and that is true in a sense but I think like an alcoholic you have to give up the bad behavior to survive. I know it’s not as bad as an alcoholic, but we all have problems to work through and this is mine. I obviously can’t stop eating, but I can try and pinpoint my triggers and give them up. That is the only way I will be successful. I know myself well enough to know that this is the only way. My ex was/always will be an alcoholic and he once told me that one day he will be able to have a drink every now and then. I almost fell on the floor. I wanted to tell him he was crazy. That trigger only leads you down a bad road. I have to give up the things that lead me to this place. I will get back to fully clean eating. I won’t want to plan to cheat. I will focus.
I have also paid more attention to my emotional eating. I realized that I may overeat when I’m bored but I binge when I am furious. Not just irritated by something but so angry that it makes me cry. Lol i really hate to cry. This has only happened twice in the last 8 months. Once a few months ago and once last week. It is stupid and now I can’t even remember what I was upset about but I need to find a better outlet. I will be working on both of these issues for the rest of my life but hopefully by doing so I will be healthier.
I think I may make it sound more extreme than it really is, and honestly I haven’t done that bad but I could he doing better and I have done better. Hopefully, I can take what I have learned and overcome these issues. My stubborn self won’t allow me to fail so I pick up and move on. 🙂

I have learned more but those are the biggest things.I’m curious, what have you guys learned about yourself in this process?

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It’s Friday!!!

I don’t have a lot going on weight wise. I have been eating well and working out. Probably a little too much snacking,  but at least it’s on something healthy. Have a birthday party at my sisters on Saturday and will more than likely be there most of the day so I probably won’t eat the best that day but will do the best I can. Haven’t weighed myself lately but I can tell I am losing weight in my face and my stomach. Yeah!

Sooooo happy it’s friday!!!! Beyond excited lol

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Calorie counting

Calorie counting doesn’t work for me. I try and use myfitnesspal. I really try. I have really only been trying to count them for the last few months but I think I am done for now.  I feel like it’s so many things to focus on and I become obsessed with my calories. I eat better and don’t stress as much if I’m just watching portions and eating healthy. I do better in general without having to worry about every little calorie. Counting them isn’t practical for me either and I want to do something I can live with for the rest of my life. Lol calorie counting is not something I can do for forever. I may try it again down the road but for now I am going to stick with what works.

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Dietbet #2

I won my 1st dietbet! Woo! So I lost the 4% of my body weight and I made my money back and a little extra. Don’t know exactly how much yet , but should find out today or tomorrow. Anyway, I decided to join another. http://diet.bt/ruBpED This one is run by Heidi and Chris Powell. Just looking on the home page they seem really motivating and helpful. I am really excited and motivated to do this and keep moving forward on this journey.

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Things I didn’t like about Dietbet:

1. They only have an app for Iphone. I am and always will be an android person. They don’t have an app for android so you would have to actually go to the website. Seemed like a pain to me so I went like once a week. With an app I probably could have been more involved.
2. It only links to fitbit. I have a jawbone up24 that I love and use daily, but can’t sync it to the site. 😦 You can post steps taken with fitbit but not any other
fitness band that I saw.
3. I kind of panicked at the end because I wasn’t at goal lol even though I didn’t think I would hit it because I had not done so great the last few weeks. Didnt do anything unhealty or anything like that but Day of weigh out I was at goal. Didn’t have far to go just a couple of pounds but I was below goal by 0.7 lbs. Lol. I figure it was water weight. Anyway, still a weight loss and a win.

Things I liked about Dietbet:

1. Everyone is really supportive.
2. You get great tips on weight loss emailed to you and on the website everyday.
3. Winning money is fun. Lol even if it’s just what you put in and you are trying to lose weight anyway.
4. It’s fun.
5. Another goal never hurt anyone.
6. It’s motivating seeing others do well and taking so many steps a day. It makes me want to move more.
7. I am competitive and love games.

All in all it was a good experience. I was not expecting to hit goal because of distractions but those are gone and I am fully focused and ready to go.

Lol no I don’t work for dietbet, I just really enjoyed the experience and want to share what I thought.

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